Author: Poo
•8:03 AM

I joined back to work when my kids were 5 months old...lucikly for me my hubby was posted in a different city...I got to stay with my parents...we had a struggle to get maids to help in caring for the babies...they were really a handful...

Every moment was a joy...and every milestone they had made me swell with motherly pride...

Frankly speaking...I don't remember many incidents...during their initial years...I should have started blogging then...but no way I could have done it...

During thier second year I made a trip to the US along with my twins all alone as my hubby was posted that's an achievment to brag about for my entire life ain't it!!!! a pic...
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Author: Poo
•7:51 AM

My kiddos were born at 33 weeks and were extremly premature. We had a bigger battle to fight after they were born...a battle of survival...God again gave me the strength to pull along....there were other family problems to contend with too...those were the weakest moments in my life (both physically and emotionally)...I was struggling to be sane...I did come out of it but not as the original me... I had lost myself permanantly...the real me...a person with a spirit to live life to the full...the harsh realities of life and the chameleon like people transformed me into another person...who I am now. I do not know which is good or bad but I do know that I liked the original me better!!!!

I was tested in every way every aspect of life...and I still existed (not lived) in this world. My only ray of darlings...kept me going...

I realise that this is a rather gloomy post and I relived my nighmare again while typing this after 6 years!!!! The wounds bestowed by life run REALLY deep and are difficult to heal...and I realise that some may never heal afterall!!!!!
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Author: Poo
•7:39 AM
But, I think I wished for something wrong....

On the early hours of Dec 1st 2003 (5.00am) my water broke when I was sleeping...I thought I was peeing uncontrollably as my uterus was squashing my me that's exactly how it feels when your water breaks...I screamed and woke hubby and we rushed to the hospital.

The doc came and checked me and said I was nearly 6cm dilated...then she ordered a scan to see the position of the babies. Fortunately or unfortunately they were both head down. So, I proudly walked to the delivery room after series of handshakes and best wishes from my parents and hubby.

The Doc asked whether I wanted to have my hubby or mom with me during delivery which I declined...I wanted to brave the battle alone...I did not want to put them to the trauma of seeing a loved one in pain that they cannot share!!!! Selfless me!!! (actual reason being I did not want anyone to see what a bad pushing job I was doing!!!!)

I went into the room at around 7.00 am and finally after a lot of struggle, my first bundle of joy was born at 9.49 am and my second one was born at 9.56 am.

They were my lovely lil angels...MY daughters...little did I know at that moment that they would change my entire life...or rather they would become my entire world and life!!! I am blessed to have you my angels...if you read this at any point of time in your life please do understand that your mother would have done anything humanely possible to have you as daughters and am extremely grateful to God for giving you to me. I will do all that is possible till the last breath of my life to keep you both happy.
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Author: Poo
•8:06 AM
I took rest for a week and resumed going to work...but once again a week later I had a gush and I was bleeding quite a bit...again the same routine...and the doc said take complete rest for a month and priscribed a shot of HCG every week till 24 weeks.
So now...I was in total panic mode all the time...was eating a lot and resting a lot...these days were not really happy ones...but tension I do not want to elaborate further.
During this time BIL got married...and somehow I made it through the wedding with a great difficulty...and with a lot of people asking "Are you in your 8th month?" when actually I was in my 5th month!!!!
Later I started going to work again with no more mishaps...but the tension was always there.
And now my major problem was the clothing....
I was at home for a month living in housecoats...but when I started to work I found to my shock that none of my old clothes were fitting me...not that I had become fat but my tummy had grown enormously!!!! My mom went for emergency shopping and I had 5 dresses one for each work day!!!
That's when I started measuring my tummy every monday and realised that every week it grew by an inch!!!! I was happy to note that my twins were growing well. I prayed more for their safety now.
In this fashion I moved on till October 2003. Then it was becoming really strenuous to go to work...and my last working day was Oct 30th and my "Valaikappu" was on Oct 31st. I was in my 7th month and my due date was only on Jan 22nd. I was feeling bad as I was wasting a lot of my leave before delivery. I wanted to spend more time with my lil ones after they were born. But I did not have a choice. Did I???
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Author: Poo
•8:49 AM
When I was through with my 3rd month, I was getting used to being pregnant. I was continuing to work, despite the nausea and vomitting. My office was located a bit far about 40mins ride from home and I had the office bus facility. But, exactly when I completed my 3rd month, my office shifted to a nearer location - about 7 mins ride from home - but no more bus facility was provided. I was scared to travel in an Auto. So, my hubby arranged tourist car to take me to and from office everyday. Meanwhile we started "Driver Hunting" for our car.

One day during my 4th month, when I was in office, I was spotting...I was just stunned...too shocked....started shivering all over...I decided I have lost the baby. I immediately called the tourist cab, called the Doctor (who asked me to come to the hospital right away), then called my mom to be ready at home. I went home, picked up my mom and rushed to the hospital. There the doctor had instructed for a scan (my first one) as soon as I was in. I went in and lay down for the scan waiting for bad news. That was the first worst moment of my life. I felt defeated and cheated and what not. I do not have words to express my emotion. That doctor, had a long face and was scanning me for a looooonnnnngggg time without uttering a word. I got impatient and asked, " Is everything fine?". He said, " Everything is fine.....but...." (Oh my gad that was the "but" I was dreading!!!!...he continued, " it looks like a twin pregnancy"....I was like "WHAT?????????????????????? Can you say that again?". Then he confirmed it was indeed a twin pregnancy. My immediate next question was, " Are both the babies fine?". That's a mother's instinct...even though I was shocked with the news and before it could sink in fully, I owned up both my children and started worrying about both their well being.

Then he said everything is fine and the spotting was just from the mouth of the cervix. Later, they gave me a shot of HCG and sent me home asking me to rest for a week.
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